Day 5

I was really happy for no apparent reason.
Not that I'm complaining.
I just started smiling, while talking to my friends on facebook or text.
I'm really lucky.
I know a lot of fantastic people.
I'm pretty sure no one hates me outright and even if they do, it's their loss.
I'm brilliant.
Lol.
Less of a rash today.
I can't exert myself as my stomach is still healing. I'd say it's 50% better than Tuesday morning.
Still trouble sleeping, though. At night at least. I sleep mostly after school between 4 and 6, and then I get a couple more hours in the morning. Other than that, I feel fine. Not really drained like I used to be.

Oh. But I did have this weird feeling in first period that I had already experienced the entire school day. So by the start of second I was exhausted and ready to sleep.

I still have a lot of work to do.
But it's getting easier.
I'm happy.

Day 4

Was sick this morning...just dizzy and nauseous.
Found out I have friends in the places I least expected.
Also that I'm not interesting enough for one person.
And I don't know how to convince another that I'm not abusing him and that I don't understand how he could ever come to that conclusion.
I just need life to stay this way till November. Everything can come crashing down in the November.
I have to make 36 invitations, but lack the man power necessary to hand make them...even though that would be more impressive. I'll just set it up as an event on facebook or something. Hopefully people chip in...oy...
My grades are improving! yay!
Fashion though...that's questionable. I have to finish this silly corset soooN!
But this is about medication though..

One of the allergic reactions is a rash. So what I thought was just something on my clothes, was actually my medication. Within the twenty four hours, it's gotten less..itchy and maybe it's not a good thing I keep taking the thing that's making me sick.
But it happened with cigarettes too. I got sick due to the nicotine, and when I smoked again, I got better almost immediately. So...I'm going to keep taking it.
Though I couldn't sleep for the life of me. (Oh.) I got like an hour of sleep, and missed my carpool because I was sick in the morning. So like a total of 4 hours. My normal sleep cycle.

William is off to kill one more boss. Lol. Hopefully he can help me fall asleep.

Day 3

Took my medication at 8.25pm instead of the usual midnight dose.
Increased appetite that's pretty much the only I didn't make up. Everyone knows that I want to be like exactly 100 lbs, for no other reason for being such an even number.
Cried a little...homework frustrating me, but then just slowly pushed throughout. Normally i would take two benadryl and call it a night.
It's not supposed to seriously kick in until about three weeks from two days ago. (I phrased that poorly but I don't care to change it.)
The sensitivity to sun hasn't really started yet, if that is to start anytime soon.
I don't know. Honestly, I feel different. But I don't know if that's me or the medication. Part of me hopes it's both...

Day 2

I usually take my medication around 11pm-12am. So I have about an 1/2 hour before it starts to make me sleepy. I could feel it wearing off tonight though. My body felt exposed and broke out in cold sweat. I'm sort of afraid. If I stop taking this, will I crash?

The only thing that makes everything feel better, like there's some sanity left within the world, is music. Any music, just a sweet bass, hypnotic melody and nice lyrics, and the world seems to stop. The second I plug my headphones in, the world can't touch me, nothing can. Not even the worst news in history. Maybe that makes me sound like any other teenager, but I'm willing to bet my right arm (which I love) that there are "adults" who find music just as essential. Unplug them and watch their world unravel.

I've noticed that I have trouble waking up to my alarm and I was hoping that I could figure out a way to escape the groginess. It doesn't wear off till about 8am, which doesn't help considering I have to get up 4am.

It's only the second day, but I feel better. Even if it the subconscious hope that this could help me rebuild the bridges I burned that night.

Medication Day 1

This blog only exists so I can keep track of how my medication is affecting me. I know the effects aren't due to kick in until a few weeks, but even then. I'm writing down anything I may have noticed, whether it's because of the medicine or just because of the day.

Day One-
Had some trouble waking up, went to bed at half past midnight and woke up around 9.30, went back to bed immediately after waking up, woke up at 2 in the afternoon.
Couldn't find the heart to dance today, something I do every day.
Had no suicidal fantasies.
Was called an attention whore, but instead of freaking out I just talked it through...
Spent the day by myself, so there's really no way to know if this affects me socially.
Increased appetite, definitely. Over the course of the day I ate a whole pizza.

Took my second pill at 9.35pm.